Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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