Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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