idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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