I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The air was thick with penises
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
