I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Can I color on your dick again?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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