I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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