Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
