this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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