no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it wasn't lemon gatorade
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
