It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
