some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
