I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
