Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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