there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
