I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
All I want is dick and wine.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
