We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
