I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
