Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
