More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
