you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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