just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I forget how to act sober
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
