i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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