My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
