You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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