if you like me you must not know who I am
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
