Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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