I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
