I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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