Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
