I'm so fucking centered right now
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
