At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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