Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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