it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
