I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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