Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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