He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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