we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Let's paint friendship bongs
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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