I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
