I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
