and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
