whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
