He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
