I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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