You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
