i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
