U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
