Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
