would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
