I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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