Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
